「欣西亞你好:
我跟男友交往約三年,也都有炒飯,每次完事後他都一臉滿足,不見任何不喜歡,但~是~,最近我發現他除了做愛,竟然還背著我打手槍!!!
我不懂,為什麼明明都有人一起做愛了,卻還要打開D槽自己私下來?難道是因為我不夠好,讓他欲求不滿嗎?
覺得他不但偷打,還似乎打很多的女朋友留」
親愛的女朋友:
欣西亞曾經把男人「打手槍」跟「做愛」的行為分別比喻為「嗑泡麵」跟「吃牛排套餐」。
前者多發生在嘴饞,想來點垃圾食物的時刻,於是一個move 便拉開蔥燒牛肉麵的包裝,注入滾燙的熱水,然後一個人淅瀝呼嚕開吃起來,當我們邊吸著鼻涕邊注視著眼前迷茫的白色蒸汽,體驗嘴裡每一口的鹹香辣滋味,嘩~!雖然知道亂沒營養,但還是令人通體舒暢。
後者則是在特定日子和另一半手牽手上高級餐廳,從前菜、沙拉、湯一道道品嘗至主菜,現場燈光美氣氛佳,每個步驟都浪漫得深刻,雖然兩者都是填飽肚子,如同「打手槍」跟「做愛」都是達到高潮,但過程大不相同。
「做愛」對男生來說,除了射精,還有許多工作要做,像是穿插動作、埋頭苦幹…等,而且還不光自己爽就好,也得顧及有沒有把女人餵飽,妳不夠濕他還不能督進去,妳還沒高潮他恐怕還不敢停,雖然有火熱的肉體能溫存,但不得不說炒飯的眉眉角角也頗多,十分令人感到阿雜。
相較之下,「打手槍」就簡單多了,只要將A片快轉到最有fu的片段,坐定姿勢,乳液、衛生紙準備好立馬就可以來,此時此刻,他愛怎麼玩就能怎麼玩,想在什麼時間點射就在什麼時間點射,根本不用care女人濕了沒?準備好了嗎?這些通通可以不用管,只要握住老二,便是掌握全世界的性福,「一屌在手,樂趣無窮」啊!
既然自己能控制時間長短,當然隨時隨地都能來一發,睡前、壓力大、月黑風高、無聊沒事做,打完神清氣爽直接洗洗睡,說什麼都比「做愛」來得迅速確實!因此,這位女朋友,我相信他DIY的興趣不是最近才有,而是已經行之有年,不過妳也無需擔心,因為這是很正常的。
只不過,妳最後信中提到「他似乎打很多」,這倒引起了我的注意。男人愛打手槍無可厚非,打得頻繁也沒啥大不了的,但如果他的時間都拿去跟十姑娘約會而少了跟妳滾床單的次數或甚至不滾,那…可能就必須說出來溝通。畢竟再怎樣喜歡嗑泡麵,也不能照三餐吃,垃圾食物再銷魂,畢竟那還是沒營養,若是取代了正餐,整個大有問題,到底是正餐讓他食之無味?還是其實餵飽他、讓他補充營養的另有其人,這就要請妳提高驚覺了。
【重要公告】
欣西亞出新書囉!Y(^_^)Y
書名「我知道你愛得很用力,但還是想一巴掌呼醒你!」
裡頭將為大家分析各種愛情的盲點,教你認清殘酷的事實,並且悉心教戰,是一本走實用性的愛情工具書,非常適合在愛裡老是鬼打牆、鬼遮眼又鬼上身的姊妹們!是一本居家必備的愛情聖經
親愛的,讓我們一起將幸福手到擒來吧!
購書網站:

o•o 加油,別放棄,我們的星球,是變動的,生老病死,喜怒哀樂,生命 生生不息。 知足常樂。 很多國家,現在溫度,正+40度 或 負-40度, 生 活 和 生存,非常艱辛。 --- 蘇+澳+後勤+某某部,也曾 酒後駕車,BMW,車頭全毀,引擎噴飛,人沒事,上過頭條新聞,網路可以查尋到。(上新聞) 該某某部,還發生過,特別案件,因老婆,無照駕駛,老公軍人,跑去夥同鄰居,製造假車禍,真詐保險公司,雖然後來,心裡不安,主動告知,保險公司,還是被,警方發現,移送地檢署偵辦。(沒上新聞) 不知道,今年 還是去年,某艦9+3+7,有士兵,去淡水遊玩,因薪俸較低,且薪俸運用和理財不佳,到賣場超市,偷竊一盒保險套。(就算船號記錯,內容不會錯,因為是,公開場合,全體宣導,注意事項)(沒上新聞) --- 蘇+澳,南+方+澳。 社區、營區,真糟糕。 普悠瑪出軌事件、大橋斷裂事件、海軍伊清楓事件。 --- 請強化,資訊安全,駭客已經厲害到,可以入侵手機,啟動與關閉軟件,並監視手機與盜取圖片和資料,造成用戶的錯覺,刻意制造出,手機用戶,幻想 或 精神病。 利益與衝突,攏斷與掌控。 --- 刮刮樂,上面號碼,應該以, 發型款版本,進行編碼, 後面則以,發行張數量,進行編碼。 ABC-1234567(款式-張數) 不然誰知道,到底有沒有,少印 或 多印。 --- 支持公益彩卷。有錢的話,當然會幫助需要的人。 請上架,因賠錢,而下架的,樂線九宮格,謝謝。 請20:00封盤,20:05開獎。(20:30開獎,理由是,需要計算,消售金額,騙三歲小孩喔) --- 一個、謊言、炒作、洗腦...的世界。 早就已經,沒有什麼,商品供需了,所以才會造成,大家沒什麼收入。(大家在比氣長,看誰食物多) 全世界都相同問題,所以才會打,貿易戰。(太平洋 魚獲 和 工作機會) 食物,才是真的(王道),其它都是假的! --- 經濟好壞? 大家,房貸額度用光、信貸額度用光、信用卡額度用光、商品沒供需 股票炒不起來、虛擬貨幣 假的上上下下。(負債累累) 只能說,以前買到房屋 或 擁房者,已經 還清債務的人,才是幸福的。(低房價) 以前是,(慢調生活),(農業時代),(相互競爭少),(人人有田),(人人有房),現在反過來了。 --- (洗腦兼爛權 的 學長學弟制 軍隊)槽糕到不行。 --- (玩弄人、貪汙,事件永無止息),(滅證洩責,第一名),(商業值供獻零),(只會從國庫,透過預算,拿老百姓,繳的稅收,進行揮霍) [基層工人,跟老百性相同,還比較有,供獻價值] --- Come on, don't give up, our planet is changing, with birth, old age, sickness and death, joy, anger, sorrow and joy, and life is endless. Contentment is always happy. In many countries, the current temperature is positive +40 degrees or negative -40 degrees. It is very difficult to live and survive. --- Su + Australia + logistics + XX department, also once drunk driving, BMW, the front of the car was completely destroyed, the engine was flying, people were okay, the headlines can be found on the Internet. (On the news) There have also been special cases involving his wife, unlicensed driving, husband and soldier. They went to work with neighbors, made fake car accidents, and scam the insurance company. Although later, he was uneasy, he voluntarily informed the insurance company. , The police found it and transferred it to the Prefectural Procuratorate for investigation. (Not in the news) I don't know, this year or last year, a certain ship 9+3+7, there are soldiers, go to Danshui to play, because the salary is low, and the use of salary and financial management are not good, go to the supermarket and steal a box of condoms. (Even if the ship number is wrong, the content will not be wrong, because it is, public occasions, all publicity, precautions) (not on the news) --- Su + Australia, South + Fang + Australia. The community, the camp, it's really bad. Puyuma derailment incident, bridge fracture incident, navy Yiqingfeng incident. --- Please strengthen information security. Hackers are already powerful enough to invade mobile phones, start and close software, monitor mobile phones and steal pictures and data, causing users to misunderstand, deliberately creating, mobile phone users, fantasy or mental illness. Interests and conflicts, severance and control. --- Scratch music, the number above should be, Hair style version, coded, After that, the number of issued sheets is used for coding. ABC-1234567 (style-number of sheets) Otherwise, who knows, whether there is less printing or more printing. --- Support charity rolls. If you have money, you will certainly help those in need. Please put it on the shelf, because it lost money, and it was taken off, Lexian Jiugongge, thank you. Please close the plate at 20:00 and draw at 20:05. (The lottery is drawn at 20:30, the reason is that it needs to be calculated, the amount of sales, to cheat a three-year-old child) --- A world of lies, hype, brainwashing... It has been long since, there is nothing, commodity supply and demand, that's why everyone has no income. (Everyone is getting angry, see who has more food) The world has the same problem, so it will fight a trade war. (Pacific Fish Catch and Job Opportunities) Food is real (king way), everything else is fake! --- Is the economy good or bad? Everyone, the mortgage line is used up, the credit line is used up, the credit card line is used up, there is no supply and demand for goods, stocks cannot be speculated, and virtual currencies are going up and down. (Large debts) It can only be said that those who have bought or owned a house before and who have paid off their debts are happy. (Low house price) It used to be, (slow life), (agricultural age), (less competition), (everyone has a field), (everyone has a house), but now it’s the other way around. --- (Brainwashing and ruined power of the senior schoolmate system army) Too bad. --- (Playing with people, embezzlement, the incident never ends), (Extinguish evidence and venting responsibility, the first place), (Commercial value for zero), (Only from the national treasury, through the budget, the tax paid by the people and the tax will be squandered) [Grass-roots workers are the same as Lao Bai, but they are more valuable, offering value] ---
關閉系統基哨站。 這個世界,只不過是,謊言支撐起來,當一切改變時,別期待 國家 與 政府 或 任何人的承諾,因為 生死,都隨時存在,只是人類體型放大化,且記憶裡 存在著,安全思想,比較多一些生存而已。 沒有供需,一切都是假的,只是透過 各種手段 與 職業,獲取 等值的證明,紙鈔 與 錢幣。 所以生存概論,推翻政權 或 加入集團組織。 This world is just supported by lies. When everything changes, don’t expect the promise of the state, the government or anyone, because life and death exist at any time, but the size of human beings is enlarged, and there is in memory, safety thoughts, comparisons Survive more. There is no supply and demand, everything is fake, just through various means and occupations, to obtain proof of equivalent value, banknotes and coins. So an introduction to survival, overthrow the regime or join a group organization.
一個錯誤的選擇 一個錯誤的環境 造就了 一連串 錯誤的事件 軍隊 隸屬 特殊環境 , 官員有責 解決底下問題, 否則沒資格 命令 不要只會 , 升官發財 , 滅證卸責, 受傷死亡, 都不算數, (該死的軍隊)(管理極差) [該休息 休息][該工作 工作] [很困難?] (作息時間,與外面社會,稍微不同,當然正常) (部隊管理不佳, 造成他人精神壓力問題) (部隊管理不佳 ,造成他人工作負荷過重) (部隊管理不佳,造成 軍職 約聘, 捉弄 與 陷害 他人, 永久上的紀錄遺憾) (受傷沒說,完全不算數)(內傷算自己該死) (卸責厲害的軍隊) ( 上電視、上報紙、莒光園地、女兵日記 ) (形象 洗白 第一名) A wrong choice A wrong environment Created a series of wrong events The army is in a special environment, and officials have the responsibility to solve the underlying problems, otherwise they are not qualified to order Don't just get promoted and get rich, destroy evidence and shirking responsibility, Injuries and deaths don’t count, (damn army) (very poor management) [Should take a break] [This job should work] [It’s difficult?] (The work and rest time is slightly different from the outside society, of course it is normal) (Poor management of the troops, causing mental stress to others) (Poor management of the troops, resulting in excessive workloads for others) (Poor management of the troops, resulting in military appointments, teasing and framing others, permanent record regrets) (I didn't say the injury, it doesn't count at all) (Internal injury counts as one's own damn) (Short the blame for the powerful army) (On TV, Newspaper, Juguang Garden, Female Soldier's Diary) (Image whitewashing first place)